When my heart broke, I woke up and found myself. In losing my love that meant everything to me, I found that everything I need is within me and always has been. I stopped looking outside for approval. I dove into myself. I dug up all that I had buried, every skeleton that has been hidden. I looked face on at the parts of myself that I didn’t like. I opened every wound I had ever allowed myself to carry. I walked myself through every negative memory and imagined I were back there in that day/time when the memory was my reality. For each and every situation I observed through my new found consciousness, I could clearly see my part. I accepted responsibility for my part in all of these situations. I sat with every emotion that came my way, not judging or criticising, just observing and allowing it to just be. I cried when I needed to cry, laughed when I felt like laughing and felt more peaceful with each passing day.
How can do do this?
Have a wee read:
1. Start with your breath.
A great way to become conscious when your mind starts to wander is to focus on your breath.
You can practice yogic pranayama exercises with the guidance of a good teacher but more basic than that, just stop and breathe! Deep calming breaths are proven to calm an anxious mind and have a positive impact on depression.
2. Observe your thoughts.
The mind is constantly full of thoughts. Attaching to negative thoughts creates suffering. Remember that just because you think something doesn’t mean that it’s true.
3. Remember that you are not your emotions.
Regardless if how high or low you feel, the roller-coaster of emotions you feel is not you. You are much more than that.
Try to stop when you feel overwhelmed by emotion. Observe how your body feels. Are your shoulders tense? Is your breathing shallow? Come back to your breath. Breathe into the parts of the body where you feel the physical expression of the emotion.
4. Stay in your present reality.
The more present and mindful you can be, the less you will suffer. A good practice for mindfulness is to do regular things differently. Hold your toothbrush in the alternate hand. Drive a different way to work. Switch your knife with your fork. You get the idea!
When you stress over the past or worry about the future, stop! Breathe and come back to the present. Remember always that this too shall pass.
5. Validate yourself.
Don’t look to others for validation. Everything you need is inside you. Forgive yourself for your wrong doings. Give yourself all the love you need. If you have difficulty with this, treat yourself as you would your best friend.
I was my own worst critic and harshest judge until I began to practice self validation and self love.
6. Be patient and persistent.
Healing your heart won’t happen overnight. We are creatures of habit; negative habits take time to break. Rewriting of neural pathways takes time. Your body and mind need time to adjust when you make changes.
When you feel like you have taken a step backwards, just breathe and reconnect with yourself. The duality that exists between the heart and the mind can be bridged once you remain conscious and aware. Persistence will keep you on the right track.
As I write this, I feel excited for the life ahead—ready for the highs and the lows, and willing to greet each situation from a conscious state in the present moment.
I am opening my heart to the world, a heart that has come back together from the dust, void of past scars. Ready to live, ready to be, ready to breathe!
Are you ready?