You are going to be more afraid after loss than you have ever been before.

You will be afraid of the smallest things, the bigger things and everything in between.

Even when certain things were simpler before the loss, now they have an additional layer of fear and anxiety. Respect the fear that you feel in the beginning of your loss. Listen to the part of you that tells you to not go to the dinner, the party, take the new job, go on that date. In the beginning, if you push too much against the fear you break. Yes we break. The fear is so strong at first and we are so vulnerable that it is best to say no to a lot of the things that now make you uncomfortable and lost.

Now you may ask… but Judy, how can I learn to be courageous if I pull away from everything because I feel this anxiety. Don’t you always advise us to choose life over grief? And my answer to this question is that in the beginning of your loss it is more important to choose activities, friends and experiences that release grief and fear than add to it. So…going for a walk on the beach instead of your friends for dinner is a more courageous choice than you can imagine.

Judy McKillop – Surviving Grief